7 Mistakes to Avoid an Unsuccessful Date

On this Valentine’s Day, after a long wait of God knows of how many months (in fact that should be years.. ♪♪ Din bane hafte, hafte mahine, mahine ban gaye saal ♪♪), I got a DATE to attend. Yeah, Yes... u read it right, I got a D..A..T..E. So “Ok, fine” I said, let’s do it... But who on earth would know that I would mess it up a big way… as if it was my “Day of Mistakes”. Anyway after getting out of this shock, I thought I should write it down on my blog... for the future reference… so here my blog on “7 Mistakes to Avoid an Unsuccessful Date”.

Mistake# 1: Never be late...

This is the most important thing... never (I say No, Nai, Never...) be late on your Date. But how not to do that... Get up early in the morning when ur Date is in the evening.. That is sooo Childish.. and top of it, if it is a Saturday, u know how tough it is to get up when u have slog the Fiday nite in office.. (I know I will get some sympathizer on this, but to confess, I got up @ 11 o clock, sorry... ) So How...

Don't waste time on Faltu things... Particularly like, setting ur hair.. Boss whatever u do.. oil, gel, water.. ur hair will get ruffled once u r out.. rather put that time on polishing ur poor, unattended for God knows for how many days pair of shoes which is somewhere lying in the corner of the room. That will give u some brownie points. And now stop time wasting and rush baby rush…


Mistake# 2: Alwayz make sure that u have booked your table...

If you are contemplating something grand... then don't just contemplate, plz Plan as well as Act. I thought let's have a grand, beautiful evening with wine and five-course meal. Well thought, no taxes on that.. but who will book the table. Sorry, it totally missed my mind. I thought the "Fine Wine & Dine Multi-Cuisine Restaurant" where I generally hobnobs with my office colleagues, is just meant for corporate guyz (not belittling others though..) and so no problems...
But on that day I realized that for sure India is a Billion people country, and half of them are Youngsters, and more than half of them are Lovers... My Goodness... WTF... there were crowd like anything... most of them are not even college pass-outs (some were also college drop-outs).. What they are doing here.. Should I tell their parents... haven't some right-wing political parties send a diktat not to venture out... I was mad.


Mistake# 3: Take some Gift for your girl...

This have been my perennial problem, not giving gifts.. but haan my friends never mind it at all.. We all used to say.. "Dude, come to the party tonite.. we will drink, dance and have fun" ... but where is the mentioned of GIFT here. And expecting me giving a gift, is like, pinning your hope on Afridi to save the Test match. Why on earth should be a fuss about it... But Girls logic works in a different way.. and mine has a different data structure all together...

Mistake# 4: Accept that u have botch up...

When u know that u have botched it up big time, simply accept that u have botched up. Don't ever try to make it up for it, Girls can caught that very easily... and plz do not used your 'famous', 'clichéd' office tricks that u are using for years with your testing guyz...
"What, It was working on my system, God Knows what happened here!!!”... This will certainly not work here.. take that from me.

Mistake# 5: Pay attention in what she says...

After all this, we went to the nearby coffee joint, and thankfully got a table. She was not in her usual self, but nevertheless she was talking "God knows What" with me... and guess what I am doing.. I was checking the "Highlight Package" of the ongoing India - South Africa Test played on our very own Eden Gardens... Alas! I could have brought the same passion and emotions to my Date... But boyz will be boyz.. she got pissed off... and I thought she was upset bcoz Harbhajan missed another Hat-trick in Eden !!!

Mistake# 6: Never talk of Sex...

One of the protocols of being in ur first DATE is never talk of SEX. I knew that very well, but nobody told me that Sex should not be at all included in ur conversation... Look at the instance how Sex came into our conversation...

Girl: "Do u Know Kannada, I know it very well".
Me: "No, I never really put an effort to know that..."
Girl: "U should have tried..."
Me: "Yeah, I should have.. But my Hindi is now quite good, earlier it was a problem, as u know with Bongs, particularly when it comes to SEX..."
Girl: "SEX........."
Me: "Oohhh... Sorry... I mean Gender..."

But that was that...

Mistake# 7: When u have already made the Evening worse, don't even try to make it better...

When you already know that you have made everything wrong... don't try to make it right. I thought that I should drop her back home, but she was not interested... and said "I could manage"... so great, manage yourself... I did so much guff-up the whole evening... but on this I thought I should not be doing anything at all... As they say "Two cynics never make an optimist".


Even after all this mess, guyz don't be dejected at all... I was not.. Be Happy and Be Positive... What I did after that was I hanged up with my 2 buddies, "Dada" and "GB'r Dukaan" (They profusely requested me to conceal their identity, bcoz they feared they would not get any Dates if their names are revealed, as if they would got any in the first place.. hahaha ). Took a beer crate, went to the roof-top wid them... and beneath the night sky, studded with beautiful stars... with my bump on the "Syntax Water Tank"... feasting my eyes with the view of the city and questing my thirst with beer. It was awesome.. with wind blowing my "ALA Siddarth (RDB fame) new look" hair.. and my friends engross in some classic love songs.. But thankfully we all got down after having a drink.. and there was no tiger in the bathroom on the next morning when I went to pee…

After hearing all this my friends suggested I ought to be serious, must have been prepared.. as if I going to give a "Module Demo".. I never mixed my work wid pleasure... if I brought the same seriousness in my work to my social life... how boring it would be... So make mistakes, got fooled...but enjoy ur life...


Disclaimer:

The characters mentioned in my stories are fictional and have no connection to any dead or alive person, any such resemblance should be considered as pure coincidence.

Acknowledgements:

I have nothing to do with Stephen Covey’s book, so plz Uncle Stephen don’t sue me.

Afridi, I am a big fan of urs, and I believe u have not done anything fishy, u were merely been hungry and people got u wrong.. i love u and no hard feelings hain..

College students, I have nothing against u.. I was myself in college and I knew how unruly I was.. but that day it was too much..

And last but not the least, thanks to my friends “Dada” and “GB’r dukaan” for their company. To let everyone know, my dear friend “GB’r dukaan” is contemplating to buy a 1 TB external Hard Drive, adding to his already 2 xHD (one of 320 GB and other of 500 GB). Now u guyz know why I gave this name to him.