First year was the most hectic year in my engineering academic life. On one side I was about to leave Physics and Chemistry forever and on other side I was about to join the geek world.
Scene: First year 2nd Semester computer practical exam.
Venue: Computer Lab
Time: The worst possible time...Around 2 o'clock.
The last day of my 2nd semester exams and the biggest mountain is still not conquered - "Computer Practical".
The only thing I learned throughout the semester is to differentiate between a CPU and a monitor. This is the only true knowledge I have about this subject.
Let me look at the search and sort program again. Scanf then Printf….Oops…Sorry… Printf then Scanf… # include iostream.h…#include conio.h…clrscr(). Oh...God...I wish that share folder still exists… I hope the netsend command still works. God...Help me… main ()…curly brackets …Maamu who invented this F***ing Computer.
Oops!!! There he goes… the most brilliant student of our class K.P, the one who asked doubt to our Computer faculty on the first day itself. A tough question "Sir, is it possible to store data on WordStar instead of Access ". Shit Brick!!! What's WordStar?? What's Access?? I am going to fail. He looks too cool. Boy…5 more minutes left... C came after B…now we have C++ and VC++…C was discovered/invented (not sure) by Dennis Richie…(must be a moron J)
I can hear one of the gal asking K.P
"What's ANSI C ?"
Oops...I don't know even that...Probably discovered by Ancy… so C was discovered by both Dennis and Ancy… might be husband - wife…all in the family.
Here comes the lab assistant. "Guys get in!!!"… So at last the time has come. Huh!!! Rohi…you have been through these situations now and then … bravo...Come on man. I entered the lab with shaking hands...legs…entire body. Oh that's my system!!! It's still vacant…my shared drives…. Ha Ha Ha … great
"Hey…take this system…sit according to your roll number" (In came the voice of lab assistant)…What the…*%$ is it….? Hey even this system is far from the faculty's desk. This is great infact its better…
"Now turn over the sheet of paper on your desk, you have to complete the task in 3 hours. First write down the algorithm and then start doing the program." So...this is it… Come on…let's see what's in there….
Write a program to sort N natural numbers in ascending order and then perform search operation.
(PS: Use Bubble sort and binary search).
Nice question the one I have mugged up. Take this… #include iostream.h… #include conio.h... main()… Its' over and still plenty of time left. Let me see what others are doing. Oh God!! They all are gone. Was this paper that easy or what?
"Rohit are you finished with the work?"
"Yes Ma'am"
"OK!! show me the output"
"Here it is..." ..Ctrl+F9
"Okay..that looks okay..it could have been better…you should add comments where ever possible…zzzz"…bla bla bla… and one more bla…. Oh !!! she has gone...hmmm… she will never get satisfied…anyways..It's over…I have done it. I started going towards the door as Ma'am called me back…
"Rohit !!! Where r u going? Come over here. You still have VIVA left." Huh!!! Not again… I wanna go home
"Please sit "
"Thank you "
"Okay!! Tell me...What is a Computer?"
"A computer is an electronic device……zzzz"… ♪♪ I am the best...I am the best...I am the best... Yeah I am the best ♪♪
"What are macros?"
"Sorry"… Did she hear me singing I am the best…
"What are libraries?"
"Pardon"
"What are command line arguments?"
"Don't know"
"What are inbuilt functions?"
'Can u please repeat the question… Are these questions from Computer Science!!! They are playing tricks with me… I object.
"Okay one last question…Show me where is the server in our lab"
Hmmm…."Server Bole To"… something big…Yeah it's very big….bigger than CPU and monitor…now I have to find where it is….hmmm… not that…that's a switch board…not even that...that's AC….hmmm…which one is the server… Oops…that's her again.
"Hey!! Stop revolving in your chair and tell me...Which is the server?"
Hey that looks like a server…. "There it is"…pointing hand towards the UPS, but the Ma'am thought I am pointing towards the system kept on the table.
"Good…Why didn't you tell me earlier if you knew that? Actually no one answered it correctly...Good keep it up"
"Thank you Ma'am...Thanks a lot…"
Yahoo…..last ball sixer...From then on I never looked back, within hours I became the hero of the class. People started coming to me with their doubts. I cleared all their doubts. Even that svelte gal came and asked "What's ANSI C?" I make her also believed that Richie and Ancy are husband and wife.
Scene: Present Day...
Venue: My Office
Time: The worst possible time...Around 2 o'clock.
Now I am Software Engineer JJ Working on the computer and earning my living. Life changes so quickly …Apni to watt lag gayee Maamu.
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